Honey, put that away. Nobody wants to see it.

Last night I experienced my first trip to a club. It really was everything I imagined. And much, much more. Take any high school dance scenario, cut the dresses shorter, add alcohol and allow high-out-of-their-minds older men to enter and presto, you've entered a hip club.

Don't get me wrong, it's great to be a sexy young girl. But when I see body parts that I did not intend to see, something isn't right. Maybe I'm naive or maybe I just don't get it. I feel like a club should allow you to have fun and dance the night away, not wear something you would have fit into when you were five years old and shake everything in a way that blatantly says you're asking for it. In my opinion, go to a strip club. Really.

And having that said, there really were not any guys in the entire place that were worth impressing. I have never seen more sketchballs in my entire life all congregated in one room. They literally stood in a giant circle around the dance floor, drinks in hand, visually raping every girl.

I did enjoy myself, but without a drink in hand or a barrier between me and the creeps it got a little old pretty fast.